I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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