how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
