God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I want to make a zoo with you.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
