that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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