If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
