I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
