she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
