Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
