She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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