You're my little dorito
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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