she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
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