just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
