Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
