so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
