He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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