Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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