I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
