i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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