I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Just pee around me
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
