so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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