____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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