You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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