we have officially lost it.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
