The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i barfeds in our rink
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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