you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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