You made me cry and you don't even care
someone threw a dead crab at me
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
