you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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