I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
