My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Come see our sink grown plant.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
