Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize