I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
What did we do last night that was yellow?
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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