K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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