you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
