it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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