Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
My balls are so social today.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
