Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Life is so much better after having sex.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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