You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
