and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
