How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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