I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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