considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
