How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
