Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize