I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
