What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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