margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
