you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize