Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
