i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
You are the jesus of drinking
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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