But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Randomize
