What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
