I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
It's official drugs can't kill me
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
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