Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
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