Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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