Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
