I think im going to throw up on grandma
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
