also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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