Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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