were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
