either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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